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Old 5th June 2018, 04:50 AM   #432171  /  #3
Life is just a bowl of cherries
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Pleasant Living
5. Make friends. Here is a FOOLPROOF method to making a new black friend at the cookout: 1. Bring a bottle of dark liquor. 2. Keep it in the trunk of your car. 3. SOMEONE (usually Tasha’s new boyfriend) is gonna ask, “Way da liquor at.” 4. Wait. (I know you’ll want to rush up to him or say something, but ignore your white-people-timing instincts just this one time, and give it a few minutes.) 5. When he changes the subject, walk over to him and say, “Walk to my car with me.” He’ll know what you mean. 6. When you pop that trunk, you’ll have a friend for life. 6. DO NOT PLAY SPADES. Even if your black friend tries to teach you how to play. They’re gonna get you F@CKED UP. No matter what you do, don’t get on the spades table talking ’bout you “learned” how to play. You do not learn how to play spades. Black people just know. Like we just know how to do the Electric Slide or get diabetes. AND, if you mess around and renege, your partner is gonna give you the side-eye all night when they take those three books. AND, you might get in your feelings over the shit-talking, because James is going to call you a b@tch. He always does that. AND, if your spades game is weak, no one is gonna want to be your friend. Not even Tasha’s boyfriend.
The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants, and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience.
-Albert Camus
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