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Old 29th October 2018, 06:17 AM   #439706  /  #376
nostrum
too boring to be considered weird
 
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I'm going to have to tell my dad that one
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Old 29th October 2018, 04:02 PM   #439720  /  #377
Majiffy
I'll have you know I'm popular on many web forums
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
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pledged my daily allegiance to Satan and pear-shaped air hockey turntable earth
Vivere diu rebellionus!

Proud propagator of the "fire for warmth" myth
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Old 29th October 2018, 04:47 PM   #439725  /  #378
gib
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: the thin one out of Laurel & Hardy


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Old 29th October 2018, 10:58 PM   #439739  /  #379
nostrum
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Says one old coot to another:

"I tell dad jokes but I have no kids,

Spoiler
"I'm a faux pa.."
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Old 6th November 2018, 10:13 PM   #439996  /  #380
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
I think your genie might be hard of hearing (read to the end) https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...ks-into-a-bar
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Old 6th November 2018, 10:18 PM   #439998  /  #381
nostrum
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get out
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Old 7th November 2018, 02:20 AM   #440002  /  #382
borealis
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
get out
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Old 7th November 2018, 11:41 AM   #440025  /  #383
Majiffy
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
Okay but now I want to know how the geese are gonna cause world peace
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pledged my daily allegiance to Satan and pear-shaped air hockey turntable earth
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Old 8th November 2018, 03:11 AM   #440047  /  #384
OmicronPersei8
Declared candidate for Best Poster 2017 of the fuckin decade
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
I'm just waiting for the bartender /12inch pianist pornhub
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Jerome: My mistake.
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Old 21st November 2018, 03:43 AM   #440629  /  #385
nostrum
too boring to be considered weird
 
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A man is walking alone one foggy night, when behind him he hears: bump...bump...bump...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he can make out the image of an upright casket bumping its way down the street toward him: bump...bump...bump...

Terrified, the man runs to his house and hears the casket picking up its pace behind him: bump...bump...bump

Fumbling with his keys, he manages to get inside his house and lock the door. The casket comes crashing through the front window: crash-bump...crash-bump...crash-bump

The man runs upstairs to the bathroom and locks himself inside. His heart is pounding and his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. The casket is coming up the stairs: thumpity-bump...thumpity-bump...thumpity-bump

Through the bathroom door the casket crashes. The man screams, reaches for something, anything, that might help but all he finds is a bottle of cough syrup. He hurls it at the casket.

Spoiler
Spoiler
The coffin stops.
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:50 AM   #440758  /  #386
MSG
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
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Old 28th November 2018, 03:08 PM   #440812  /  #387
borealis
poikilothermic
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
can't help myself...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Break_a_leg
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Old 28th November 2018, 04:01 PM   #440814  /  #388
Majiffy
I'll have you know I'm popular on many web forums
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
That's the problem with you liberals, always ruining good things with your "facts" and "statistics"
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pledged my daily allegiance to Satan and pear-shaped air hockey turntable earth
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Old 30th November 2018, 12:00 AM   #440839  /  #389
Timewave
Senior Member
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: IN MY HEAD (MOSTLY)
two ants are talking.
What are they talking about?
Spoiler
Unkle!
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this ol' world keeps spinning round, it's a wonder tall trees ain't laying down, comes a time.
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Old 30th November 2018, 12:49 AM   #440841  /  #390
Prince Humperdinck
Join Date: Aug 2015
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: 'Murica
Quote:
Originally Posted by borealis View Post
can't help myself...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Break_a_leg
Quote:
Originally Posted by Majiffy View Post
That's the problem with you liberals, always ruining good things with your "facts" and "statistics"
It does make for a great pun.
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Old 1st December 2018, 04:18 PM   #440936  /  #391
borealis
poikilothermic
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
Courtesy of TTP:

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pigeon?

Spoiler
voice mail
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Old 8th December 2018, 12:37 AM   #441212  /  #392
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
Insect joke

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Old 8th December 2018, 02:39 AM   #441222  /  #393
ffejrxx
Networking Nut
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Minnesota
most pigeons are infected with many insects
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Quote:
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...these people are idiots.
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