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Old 10th February 2018, 12:01 AM   #419376  /  #12676
Cunt
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Circum-polar region
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mantisdreamz View Post
It's pretty much impossible to own bikes while living in a city. I had 3 stolen from Toronto over the course of 5 years. 1 from Montreal - that one lasted only a month. For a good year or so, I was all paranoid and vigilant evertime i saw a blue bike pass. I'd whip my head around to check if it was mine.
I have had the same bicycle for around 18 years. It is locked outside right now, in the front of the house. I've lived in Calgary and Edmonton with this bike (bought it in Edmonton) and the reason it never gets stolen is because of idiot cyclists who all buy prettier bikes than mine.

Mine has no 'curb-appeal', and may well be slower than yours. Mine, however, is MUCH faster than a missing bike

How about aiming a bit lower? Get granny handlebars, a big plushy seat, and maybe an ace of spades in the spokes, to make that motorcycle sound?
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The earth is revolving on its axis
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Old 10th February 2018, 12:04 AM   #419378  /  #12677
Majiffy
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
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Mine, however, is MUCH faster than a missing bike
Woof!
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Old 10th February 2018, 12:10 AM   #419381  /  #12678
Mantisdreamz
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Originally Posted by Majiffy View Post
yes it's the correct guess? as well as yes they are still making music?
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Old 10th February 2018, 12:18 AM   #419384  /  #12679
Mantisdreamz
you no take candle!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cunt View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mantisdreamz View Post
It's pretty much impossible to own bikes while living in a city. I had 3 stolen from Toronto over the course of 5 years. 1 from Montreal - that one lasted only a month. For a good year or so, I was all paranoid and vigilant evertime i saw a blue bike pass. I'd whip my head around to check if it was mine.
I have had the same bicycle for around 18 years. It is locked outside right now, in the front of the house. I've lived in Calgary and Edmonton with this bike (bought it in Edmonton) and the reason it never gets stolen is because of idiot cyclists who all buy prettier bikes than mine.

Mine has no 'curb-appeal', and may well be slower than yours. Mine, however, is MUCH faster than a missing bike

How about aiming a bit lower? Get granny handlebars, a big plushy seat, and maybe an ace of spades in the spokes, to make that motorcycle sound?
I thought mine was decently ugly, but I guess not. it was a used bike I got for about 100 dollars and it looked pretty old. I had one occasion while riding in the bike lane, a friendly older man pulled up next to me and commented that the bike was impressive. so maybe it had sone sort of vintage appeal to it, that the bike thief folks go for.

it's a pain because travel in the city is pretty convenient just by bike.
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Old 10th February 2018, 12:23 AM   #419385  /  #12680
Cunt
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Circum-polar region
Going back many years, I got the idea from Zeke.

Zeke lived in a schoolbus parked in a vacant lot. He wore old man pants, which the fly wouldn't close, but a belt kept everything together. He had a diamond of flesh, bisected by the belt, even on cold days in Calgary.

Zeke would come in to my shop occasionally, to rub his chilly hands on our heat pipe. He would make off-colour comments while doing so, much to the delight (or disgust) of those shopping.

Zeke also couldn't afford a bike lock. (or wouldn't use one). He referred to his bike as his 'horse', and had a plastic horse cut up, with the front placed on the handlebars, and the rear where it should be.

I don't think his bike was ever stolen.
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Old 10th February 2018, 01:01 AM   #419388  /  #12681
gib
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: the thin one out of Laurel & Hardy
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Will be picking up a 26 year chip on the 26th of this month,
a Monday, at the noon meeting I chair. A whimsical coincidence
unnoticed when deciding to wait until sometime toward the end
of the month, as my sobriety date is Feb. 1 (every year, of course).
This deferring is a first.
it'll be stale
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Old 10th February 2018, 01:15 AM   #419390  /  #12682
Mantisdreamz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cunt View Post
Going back many years, I got the idea from Zeke.

Zeke lived in a schoolbus parked in a vacant lot. He wore old man pants, which the fly wouldn't close, but a belt kept everything together. He had a diamond of flesh, bisected by the belt, even on cold days in Calgary.

Zeke would come in to my shop occasionally, to rub his chilly hands on our heat pipe. He would make off-colour comments while doing so, much to the delight (or disgust) of those shopping.

Zeke also couldn't afford a bike lock. (or wouldn't use one). He referred to his bike as his 'horse', and had a plastic horse cut up, with the front placed on the handlebars, and the rear where it should be.

I don't think his bike was ever stolen.
.....d-did he not wear underwear? :I
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Old 10th February 2018, 02:05 AM   #419395  /  #12683
borealis
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cunt View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mantisdreamz View Post
It's pretty much impossible to own bikes while living in a city. I had 3 stolen from Toronto over the course of 5 years. 1 from Montreal - that one lasted only a month. For a good year or so, I was all paranoid and vigilant evertime i saw a blue bike pass. I'd whip my head around to check if it was mine.
I have had the same bicycle for around 18 years. It is locked outside right now, in the front of the house. I've lived in Calgary and Edmonton with this bike (bought it in Edmonton) and the reason it never gets stolen is because of idiot cyclists who all buy prettier bikes than mine.

Mine has no 'curb-appeal', and may well be slower than yours. Mine, however, is MUCH faster than a missing bike

How about aiming a bit lower? Get granny handlebars, a big plushy seat, and maybe an ace of spades in the spokes, to make that motorcycle sound?
Mine had the first two, and mountain bikes were all the rage, so I don't know why mine was worth stealing.

Maybe not living in the downtown club district at the time might have helped. It could well have been some larcenous drunk person who just wanted to wobble home faster than a stagger.
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Old 10th February 2018, 02:06 AM   #419396  /  #12684
borealis
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
A plastic horse's arse probably makes a pretty efficient rear fender.
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Old 10th February 2018, 11:03 PM   #419422  /  #12685
MondoVman
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Southwest Atlantica
The U.S. Olympic Women's cross-country team is hot! 4 x hot
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Old 11th February 2018, 06:38 AM   #419441  /  #12686
Cunt
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Circum-polar region
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mantisdreamz View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cunt View Post

I don't think his bike was ever stolen.
.....d-did he not wear underwear? :I
I didn't ever ask, as we were not that close, as friends.

Picture the pants unbuttoned, and the zip down all the way, with the shirt mirroring the effect with a couple lower buttons undone. Holding this all together, mid-diamond was a belt.

But this is a bit of a digression...I think the main point was that his bike was, for various reasons, undesireable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by borealis View Post
A plastic horse's arse probably makes a pretty efficient rear fender.
Zeke wasn't stupid, just weird. I bet he DID benefit from it's fending.

I'm finding more layers, decades later, to make me appreciate his inginuity. Thanks for that.

At risk of derailing the thread, another Zeke story...

Zeke was a bit unkempt, in the hair department. His mostly gray mane was wild and his facial hair may have been more populous than the hair on his head. He wore an old, stained parka with big pockets.

My sweetheart was visiting me in my shop (another in the chain, not the one from the last story) and Zeke came in. She had not met him yet, since she mostly stayed away from the other shop, so didn't know that I knew him.

Zeke came in, was delighted to see me, and said 'Hello, would you like some meat?'. As he approached the counter, he removed from his pocket a red waxed paper package, filled with redder meat. It may have been sweet and sour pork. I thanked him, and had some with him. It was pretty good, but my sweetheart declined (she was a vegetarian, so I wasn't surprised)

Later, after closing up, she asked me about the event. To her, it looked like some strange homeless guy had come in, offered me pocket-meat, and I enjoyed it with him, fearlessly.

I explained that Zeke had a home (though it was an abandoned schoolbus) and that he was the pipe-rubber from 9th Avenue.

I still talk to that sweetheart (though she is my ex now) and she remains to this day a vegetarian.
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The earth is revolving on its axis
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Old 11th February 2018, 01:43 PM   #419446  /  #12687
borealis
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
"Pocket meat."

I had a similar old friend at one time though.
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Old 16th February 2018, 03:33 PM   #419783  /  #12688
Brother Daniel
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: a peninsula in the North Atlantic
happy new year*!

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Old 16th February 2018, 05:38 PM   #419785  /  #12689
MondoVman
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Southwest Atlantica
Got bike back yesterday, yay.
A semi-spill at first 90 degree turn onto sidewalk, a skill I never had.
So turned tail and rode 3 or 4 times around condo development parking,
about an 1/8 mile loop, to retrain brain and body.
Taking bike to repair shop no. 3 today to discuss/authorize re-truing,
because don't like the quality of effort by shop no. 2.
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Old 19th February 2018, 12:45 AM   #419951  /  #12690
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: the thin one out of Laurel & Hardy
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Old 19th February 2018, 04:04 PM   #419983  /  #12691
Majiffy
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
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Old 20th February 2018, 02:52 PM   #420005  /  #12692
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
oh yeah a BHA
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