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Old 30th August 2017, 01:39 PM   #410412  /  #226
OmicronPersei8
Declared candidate for Best Poster 2017 of the fuckin decade
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
all I got

Then you wake up and find the kayak drifted away
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Old 30th August 2017, 02:36 PM   #410413  /  #227
Facetious
The Ultimate People's Champion
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: it's grim up north
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Daniel View Post
How many elephants can fit into a volkswagen?
Spoiler
Six. One in each seat, one under the hood, and one in the glove box.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?
Spoiler
Footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if two elephants have been in your fridge?
Spoiler
Two sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Spoiler
open the fridge door, put the elephant in, shut the door


How do you put a lion in the fridge?

Spoiler
would you be thinking, open the fridge door, put the lion in, shut the fridge door?
Spoiler
you'd be wrong, open the fridge door, take the elephant out, put the lion in, close the fridge door


The king of the jungle threw a party and invited all the animals of the world, all came apart from one, who was missing?

Spoiler
The lion, he was in the fridge.
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Old 30th August 2017, 02:37 PM   #410414  /  #228
Facetious
The Ultimate People's Champion
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: it's grim up north
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlsson View Post
canada,


please
Mate, have you not learned that you should never show weakness around these people?
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Old 31st August 2017, 01:03 AM   #410433  /  #229
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
^that comment also applies to borealis
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Old 31st August 2017, 02:06 PM   #410456  /  #230
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
mathematical Dad joke; bro d, it's for you
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Old 31st August 2017, 04:26 PM   #410459  /  #231
gib
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: the thin one out of Laurel & Hardy
I turned up to work naked the other day, then all my teeth fell out.

Spoiler
It was my dream job.
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Old 31st August 2017, 05:00 PM   #410460  /  #232
borealis
poikilothermic
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Canada
That seems like it ought to be a Requiem joke.
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Old 31st August 2017, 11:12 PM   #410478  /  #233
nostrum
too boring to be considered weird
 
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Did you know that Bro d is afraid of negative numbers?

Spoiler
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Old 31st August 2017, 11:21 PM   #410479  /  #234
OmicronPersei8
Declared candidate for Best Poster 2017 of the fuckin decade
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
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Old 31st August 2017, 11:48 PM   #410480  /  #235
nostrum
too boring to be considered weird
 
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A frog hops into a bank and up to a teller. The teller's badge reveals she is Patricia Wakk. The frog says: Patricia, I need a $30k loan for a holiday.

Patricia is dubious. She asks the frog for his name. I'm Kermit Jagger, says the frog. My father is Mick Jagger.

Patricia says that collateral will be required to secure the loan. No problem, says Kermit J. He produces a tiny pink elephant statuette.

Patricia stares at the pink elephant and says: I've no idea what that is supposed to be.

The bank manager, having watched this whole exchange, says

Spoiler
Spoiler
It's a knick knack, Patty Wakk, give the frog some bones; his old man's a Rolling Stone
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Old 1st September 2017, 12:00 AM   #410481  /  #236
OmicronPersei8
Declared candidate for Best Poster 2017 of the fuckin decade
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
welcome to my ignore list
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Old 1st September 2017, 12:01 AM   #410482  /  #237
nostrum
too boring to be considered weird
 
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finally!

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Old 1st September 2017, 12:48 AM   #410483  /  #238
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
A frog hops into a bank and up to a teller. The teller's badge reveals she is Patricia Wakk. The frog says: Patricia, I need a $30k loan for a holiday.

Patricia is dubious. She asks the frog for his name. I'm Kermit Jagger, says the frog. My father is Mick Jagger.

Patricia says that collateral will be required to secure the loan. No problem, says Kermit J. He produces a tiny pink elephant statuette.

Patricia stares at the pink elephant and says: I've no idea what that is supposed to be.

The bank manager, having watched this whole exchange, says

Spoiler
Spoiler
It's a knick knack, Patty Wakk, give the frog some bones; his old man's a Rolling Stone
Skull told it better


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Old 1st September 2017, 01:11 AM   #410492  /  #239
Majiffy
Grissle Hardman, The MR Mafia Honey Badger
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSG View Post
mathematical Dad joke; bro d, it's for you
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIh5ZDpXUAAWZ1O.jpg
"You've worn shoes, haven't you?" got me
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ʘᴥʘ
pledged my daily allegiance to Satan and pear-shaped air hockey turntable earth
Vivere diu rebellionus!

Proud propagator of the "fire for warmth" myth
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Old 1st September 2017, 01:15 AM   #410493  /  #240
gib
Volunteer
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: the thin one out of Laurel & Hardy
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
A frog hops into a bank and up to a teller. The teller's badge reveals she is Patricia Wakk. The frog says: Patricia, I need a $30k loan for a holiday.

Patricia is dubious. She asks the frog for his name. I'm Kermit Jagger, says the frog. My father is Mick Jagger.

Patricia says that collateral will be required to secure the loan. No problem, says Kermit J. He produces a tiny pink elephant statuette.

Patricia stares at the pink elephant and says: I've no idea what that is supposed to be.

The bank manager, having watched this whole exchange, says

Spoiler
Spoiler
It's a knick knack, Patty Wakk, give the frog some bones; his old man's a Rolling Stone
some bones huh?
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Old 1st September 2017, 01:39 AM   #410494  /  #241
nostrum
too boring to be considered weird
 
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shush, you
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Old 1st September 2017, 02:23 AM   #410498  /  #242
spruce
redolent needling balm
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Appalachia, CSA
I thought it made perfect sense.
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* ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *
I smell the STANK OF DEF!
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Old 1st September 2017, 03:12 AM   #410501  /  #243
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
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Old 1st September 2017, 10:52 AM   #410515  /  #244
MSG
Ol' Zipperlaig
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Nyfb
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Old 1st September 2017, 07:59 PM   #410534  /  #245
Majiffy
Grissle Hardman, The MR Mafia Honey Badger
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Buffalo, NY
Should be approximately not exactly but I'll let it slide


Frog bank joke went over well at work.
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Herpy derpy jerfy!


ʘᴥʘ
pledged my daily allegiance to Satan and pear-shaped air hockey turntable earth
Vivere diu rebellionus!

Proud propagator of the "fire for warmth" myth
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Old 18th September 2017, 10:05 PM   #411373  /  #246
Facetious
The Ultimate People's Champion
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: it's grim up north
Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Spoiler
Because they spend years at C.
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Old 19th September 2017, 10:08 AM   #411417  /  #247
gib
Volunteer
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: the thin one out of Laurel & Hardy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Facetious View Post
Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Spoiler
Because they spend years at C.
Spoiler
but i've heard them say I and R quite a lot
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Old 21st September 2017, 05:05 PM   #411597  /  #248
Facetious
The Ultimate People's Champion
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: it's grim up north
You know those letters come after C in the alphabet, right?

Where did Noah keep his bees?

Spoiler
in the archives
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Old 21st September 2017, 07:01 PM   #411602  /  #249
Carlsson
kitchen sink garbage disposal
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Sweden
why do i open this thread
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Old 21st September 2017, 07:13 PM   #411603  /  #250
OmicronPersei8
Declared candidate for Best Poster 2017 of the fuckin decade
 
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlsson View Post
why do i open this any thread
fyp
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