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Old 11th December 2014, 10:37 PM   #198510  /  #1
OmicronPersei8
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Here's the email I just sent my boss.

"I entered the data, then redid the spreadsheet formatting because the blank mini columns were retarded with way too much formatting effort. "
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:10 PM   #198527  /  #2
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LOL

I needed to do that for my other boss, but I didn't have the guts. The bastard actually did the reverse, coming to tell me how much better MY spreadsheets looked now with all the formats.

Fun fact: excel 2007 can corrupt files when 64,000 odd 'styles' are used. My boss managed to do that
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:15 PM   #198528  /  #3
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This was monitoring well data so if a contaminant was detected for a well, you enter the number, if not you enter BDL for below detection limit. So I copied BDL highlighted the cells in the row, pasted and saw a bunch of half BDL cells between the main cells, and was like HELL NO! I'm not pasting each individual cell. So I deleted the small width columns that had been used for formatting only to find out those were the cells that had cell borders. So for at least three years he's been entering in BDL in every cell and then formatting the half-width cells individually for borders.
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:19 PM   #198532  /  #4
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ha ha ha I love to hear about others' struggles with excel hacks



I used to work with a guy who would consistently hard key numbers hidden in swathes of formulae cells. Fucking idiot. Oh and if he didn't like the result of a cell he'd colour the text white.
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:26 PM   #198535  /  #5
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We had a spreadsheet on a shared drive at another job to track inspections. I would create random sheets in it titled things like "Known Witches" or change the font daily. They guy who would get frustrated easily always got weird colors or 2 point font
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:27 PM   #198537  /  #6
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its ok though, i'm replacing our 40 odd spreadsheets with a database so shit only has to be entered once, ever
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:29 PM   #198539  /  #7
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LOL I wish I had the balls to do shit like that (the tormenting)

do you mean Access? It's verboten in many departments here.
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:29 PM   #198540  /  #8
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as in, they remove it from our software suite
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:30 PM   #198542  /  #9
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yeah access, forbidden because it's too complicated and they cant do dumb excel hacks that plague the dept for years?
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:32 PM   #198545  /  #10
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i almost screen shotted that guys desktop to replace it as wallpaper because he always left his comp unlocked when he took a shit
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:32 PM   #198546  /  #11
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but another coworker i did remap his mouse buttons
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:35 PM   #198547  /  #12
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Quote:
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yeah access, forbidden because it's too complicated and they cant do dumb excel hacks that plague the dept for years?
yes. Plus, people would make offline and unsupported software, then leave and cause the incompetent remainder to pay a fortune to consultants, who then overengineered it further and made themselves indispensible.

we use taxpayer dollars in a fun way
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:36 PM   #198548  /  #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OmicronPersei8 View Post
i almost screen shotted that guys desktop to replace it as wallpaper because he always left his comp unlocked when he took a shit
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmicronPersei8 View Post
but another coworker i did remap his mouse buttons
ha ha ha I lock my PC mainly because I have this window open most of my work day
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:36 PM   #198549  /  #14
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mouse button remapping is a cruel cruel thing to do

I approve
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:37 PM   #198550  /  #15
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
yeah i'm not that dumb, mine will be documented with metadata (i've had to figure out the 'meaning' of poorly designed dbases many times)
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:40 PM   #198553  /  #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
Quote:
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yeah access, forbidden because it's too complicated and they cant do dumb excel hacks that plague the dept for years?
yes. Plus, people would make offline and unsupported software, then leave and cause the incompetent remainder to pay a fortune to consultants, who then overengineered it further and made themselves indispensible.

we use taxpayer dollars in a fun way

When I was with the States Div of Water Quality, they always complained about the dbase. I realized the problem was idiots just rentering the same data only differently creating a new instance of a consulting firm. Like they new to find Environmental Professionals, LLC then they'd associate a project manager, then another, then the same manager but with a new fax number and so on and so on and so on. I don't think they understand the policy on naming conventions
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Old 11th December 2014, 11:45 PM   #198555  /  #17
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lol so did they then do their queries without a unique key and bring back multiples of data? I had a fun time in London watching a colleague do reports on a huge client that turned out to provide a quarter of the revenue he reported


ETA I meant the correct link-things between data tables...been years since I used Access
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Last edited by nostrum; 12th December 2014 at 02:03 AM.
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Old 12th December 2014, 12:38 AM   #198576  /  #18
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Dear Diary: Today I learned that OP8 is my favorite person here.
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Old 12th December 2014, 01:12 AM   #198583  /  #19
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don't encourage him
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Old 12th December 2014, 01:49 AM   #198594  /  #20
OmicronPersei8
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Dear Diary: Today I learned that OP8 is my favorite person here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
don't encourage him
My fan club of encouragement just went from me, to me and majiffy. Being a very stoic introvert, I reserve my best shenanigans for myself and my own amusement.
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Old 12th December 2014, 02:03 AM   #198610  /  #21
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well that's a relief
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Old 12th December 2014, 02:07 AM   #198614  /  #22
OmicronPersei8
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmicronPersei8 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Majiffy View Post
Dear Diary: Today I learned that OP8 is my favorite person here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
don't encourage him
My fan club of encouragement just went from me, to me and majiffy. Being a very stoic introvert, I reserve my best shenanigans for myself and my own amusement.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nostrum View Post
well that's a relief
Such as my OCD artist Romanian friend in college. Everything was lined up perfectly, he would shower and primp and preen longer than any woman who feesl fat, bloated, and ugly because of the blood* so while he was getting ready so we could all go out, I would rearrange pictures on his mirror, move objects through the apartment, hide peanuts in places. I would laugh, but I'd laugh alone, until he caught me, then I'd laugh harder.

* "The Blood" I have two sisters, one 4 and the other 13 years younger than me. When the youngest would see the middle being a bitch she would say, "Oh XXXX is just having The Blood"
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Old 12th December 2014, 02:09 AM   #198616  /  #23
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you are a terrible person


ETA and at the *
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Old 12th December 2014, 02:10 AM   #198617  /  #24
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I think this was the nerdiest conversation I ever witnessed. And I know a lot of nerds
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Old 12th December 2014, 02:11 AM   #198620  /  #25
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Read my posts with the following stupid accent: Gib's
This? THIS is the nerdiest?
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